Stopping Gossip

To the extent gossiping is a learned behavior, just like any other behavior, it can be changed. For starters, what must be understood is that there are different levels of gossip. Strangers can certainly gossip together – who hasn’t swapped stories with an airplane seatmate about a nutty co-worker or an accounting unit that just can’t seem to get it together? This kind of gossip causes less harm than other forms of the problem, because it’s on a much less intimate basis then, say, a team of co-workers who have worked together for five year. When people who work closely together gossip, and when that gossip turns ugly, the harm and pain it causes can be extreme.

The truth is its part of the human condition, as much as kindness and hatred. We are, after all, social beings where human contact is a necessary ingredient to our well being. We don’t, and will never, have the capacity to completely stop gossip. What we can do is teach people how to deal with gossip – particularly the maliciousness of it. Workable strategies do exist, which can stem the toxic tide without plunging a workplace into totalitarianism. It’s a mistake to say “We’re going to act bigger than it and simply ignore it.” Rather, the critical question concerns what we are going to substitute for malicious gossip. That is a question that I will continue to explore on this blog.